Stage 1. Anticipation
Anticipation generally includes the following:
-getting all running gear organized (nothing worse than showing up and realizing you forgot to bring the right fuel/clothes!)
-checking the weather forecast
-eating the right dinner and breakfast. Or for the super keen, super nervous, or super gastro-sensitive, eating carefully for two or even three days before the event
-checking the alarm is set for the right time and maybe even a back-up alarm as required
-getting to bed early the night before
-ensuring your watch or other appropriate technology is charged and ready
-being as lazy as possible the day before to store up energy for the long run (this may just be my thing)
For me, this stage typically starts the night before and goes right up until I start running the next morning. Others may have anticipation starting earlier in the week.
Stage 2. Small Talk
As the run starts, you settle in with the person next to you and small talk starts up. This either takes the form of introduction for someone you haven't met before, or catching up on the week with familiar faces. You might jostle for places a bit as you settle in. At this stage, your focus is on keeping it slow. No sense sprinting from the start line, after all!
This stage occurs for the first part of the run. It usually doesn't occur past the first few km's unless you are in a group where you are constantly running next to someone new.
Stage 3. Solving the World's Problems and Other Important Conversations
The small talk gets old as the pavement pounds under your feet. Within a few km's you've exhausted talk about the weather and job descriptions and are ready to Solve the World's Problems. Yes, many an interesting debate of worldly affairs has been had on a run. Like any normal conversation, you start off with something mundane - "I'm planning on going to Banff/Gold Coast/other location this weekend" and launches into a spirited discussion about the merits of "yam fries are way better than regular fries" before winding onwards to remarks of "do you know what would really solve our infrastructure problem?..." Yes, this is the time to discuss every niggling problem, be it personal or politics.
This stage occurs in the middle km's. It goes until well under half the distance is left, although one person or group can bounce between Stage 3 and Stage 4 during the run.
Stage 4. How Much Farther?
At some point in the run you really start to feel it. Exhaustion has set in, legs are aching, blisters may be forming, and you just want to be DONE. This is when conversation staggers. You might talk about upcoming races or running goals. This is also the time when you start thinking about After. Yes, the beautiful After that you couldn't let yourself think about before the run. But now as the km's tick upwards you start to imagine what you are going to do when you finish. Hot showers, a cup of coffee, breakfast, sleep...all those beautiful thoughts whisper through your mind. You try to shake it off, because there is still a ways to go yet. But the delicious After thoughts begin to distract you from the conversations you so thoroughly enjoyed just a few minutes ago.
Stage 4 usually occurs when you are close-but-not-too-close to the finish line. Depending on the distance and energy levels, you can bounce between Stage 3 and Stage 4 during the run.
Stage 5. Intense Focus
You don't even pretend to hold conversation. Heavy breathing permeates the group, interrupted by brief comments of "my legs feel like lead / I can't wait until we're done / I have the worst chafing right now" and so on. But mostly, there is silence. It's really hard to get through Now, so much easier to focus on After and just keep one foot in front of the other.
This stage occurs in the final part of the run, whether the last few km's or the last quarter.
Stage 6. The Stretch of Smugness
You slow your legs and click the "stop" button on your watch. Finished. The word tastes sweet in your mouth. High fives and smug smiles are shared. You walk aimlessly around the finish area, partially to slow your heart rate and breath, partially because you're stunned by this revelation. Finished. Group stretches are filled with the excited chatter about how "exhausted but great" you feel. Whether you felt great or terrible in the run, it can't change the truth of I DID IT.
This stage occurs immediately after the run from the time you stop running until the time you leave the group/finish stretching.
Stage 7. The Bragging
The long run may be finished but by golly it isn't over! Everyone - from friends, to co-workers, to random strangers - deserve to hear about your accomplishment. "Boy am I stiff! I just ran 20k yesterday." "Beautiful day today! And yesterday, too. I ran 20k yesterday and it was so nice out the whole time." "Of course I can finish that report for you right away. I ran 20k on the weekend so everything feels easy in comparison."
Who am I kidding? This stage has no endurance. Milk this puppy for as long as you possibly can. "How funny! Your story about yam fries reminds me of when I used to run 20k's on the weekend. What? When was that? Oh, not since the '90s, but anyway..."
And how far did I run, you ask? Oh, why of course I will tell you! And my co-workers. And my friends. And anyone else I can possibly tell for as long as I can get away with it.
Total Distance: 20.0k
Total Time: 2h 10min
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