Self Doubt

The self-doubt is creeping in.

Today I ran 23km. I can't say I was feeling super excited; it was more of a 'grit the teeth and get through it.'
I couldn't bring myself to go by heart rate, so I ran by feel instead, aiming for an easier pace.

Total time: 2.54.25
Total distance: 23.02km
Average speed: 7.35min/km
Average HR: 141bpm (73% of max)

It was a bit of a boring route. I just made it up as I went, but the trails by the store were not as long as I could have wanted, so I did a lot of extra "let's get in those miles" sort of detours. The last 6k especially felt like a really big slog.

But my biggest struggle of today was with self-doubt. I have 3 long runs left. Three. And then it's my marathon! But I find that even when I run at an easy 7.35 pace, I tucker out by 19km. How on earth am I supposed to manage a much faster pace for more than twice that distance?!

Ask me to do a 10k, or a half marathon, and I know I can churn it out no problem. But I'm feeling woefully unprepared for this full marathon. Do I expect to finish it? Yes. Do I expect to make it in the timeframe I've been training for? Not even close... I've been trying to give myself some prep talk and some "who cares what time you run it in? What matters is finishing!" talk, but today is not one of those days where I'm believing it.